Father's Day: Not A Daddy's Girl

Father’s day may not just be about expressing your love for Daddy but also about missing the most vital thing in one’s life. And that is the care and guidance of a quintessential “father figure” in the life of an average intellectual girl.

This Father’s day and several days of the year the thought of fatherless girls and girls with indifferent fathers troubled me.

There are millions of children across the world devoid of the benefits of having both parents. Several couples in India have to live separately in different cities due to financial constraints. This is a trend catching up not just in rural areas but also in the metropolitan cities. Better job opportunities in other towns are forcing fathers to compromise on the precious time spend with kids.

But what about those fathers who are in the same city yet never stand up for their children. I am more concerned about fathers who are not empathetic towards their offspring, specially the girl child.

The father is the “first male” in a girl’s life. And, if the relation with this first man in her life is “distressed” due to whatever reasons, it can have long-term harmful effects on her personality, to the extent of becoming socially-insecure.

Later as she would grow up, she may find it difficult to have sustainable relations with her male friends, her boyfriend and even with her husband. The grave concern is that she may never realise this.

Lack of direction in various spheres like studies, career and social activities may force her to look outwards. Such girls are more likely to become emotionally-volatile. Mood swings, anti-men syndrome and bouts of loneliness are common things.

Not that am advocating for a male-regulatory childhood, but fathers who have almost no interference in the daily activities of their daughters may end up ruining latter’s personal life. Fathers stand not just for financial security but help in building a strong foundation in the making of an emotionally-secure individual.

I am not sure if it’s true in case of boys, but I have observed the side-effects in most girls.  The only positive thing, so to say, of having an unsympathetic Daddy is that it makes you do every little thing “on your own”. From filling admission forms to shifting a house, fixing the cooler or getting the cooking gas filled. But who wants to achieve independence at such a cost.

The picture is different for ladies living alone or separate from their partners. They have seen the world and the men around. But for those little angels who are yet to step into the “man’s world”, their Daddy is supposed to be the first Teacher, Guru and Guide.

If a man fails to be a good father, in my view, he doesn't qualify to be married. Unfortunately, the process has to go in the reverse order, at least in my country!