There Is A Little Me In Every You

This is my entry for the HarperCollins–IndiBlogger Get Published contest, which is run with inputs from Yashodhara Lal and HarperCollins. Please vote : http://www.indiblogger.in/getpublished/idea/515/

Pic Courtesy: weheartit.com

Prerna Anand, a lower middle class girl from Meerut city, wanted to be a Television Anchor ever since she passed her intermediate. Her mother insisted, the world was murky out there. But she just won’t listen. Her father felt, teaching was the best a woman should do after marriage.

Prerna’s dreams got bigger when she met Pratik at her Mass Communication college. She was immensely in love and was clear in her mind to have a life with him. Pratik’s confidence in her and his promises gave wings to her desires. “I have so many contacts. You can get a job any day in Media,” he said. Life would have been perfect had he not disappeared leaving her forsaken on the last day of college. She felt humiliated. Her trust had shaken and so was she from the inside. No one at home wanted her to leave for Delhi, where her destiny awaited. Finally, her best friend Kashish convinced everyone and took her to her mansion in Sundar Nagar. Rounds of interviews and auditions began. Prerna was undoubtedly beautiful and a hard-working fresher. She didn’t get a job for six months. Her father was adamant to call her back to Meerut. “Maine toh pehle hi kaha thha, mere paas faltoo paise nahin tumhare dilli ghoomne ke liye. Chup chaap wapas aa jao,” and he hung up the phone.

Prerna felt isolated. She committed suicide but survived. This infuriated Kashish’s businessman father to issue an order not to allow any friends to stay at their place. She had to move out. She managed to get a PG with Kashish’s support. She cut off from her family. No one came to see her hearing about her suicide. Her mother had only wished she could, as she whispered over the phone.

She was down but not out. She kept looking for jobs. Heartbreak had made her pursue her dreams more passionately. She grew more and more egoistic looking at the world around. When everyone else was busy thinking about themselves, why should she compromise with her dreams?

Some more interviews and then came a job that changed her life forever.

She met Sanjay Jumani, Channel Head, Indian News. He was a through professional. She spent two years at this job. Growing from an intern to a reporter and then finally becoming the face of the channel. Sanjay was fond of her and her hard work. He often gave her gifts in appreciation for her achievements. Prerna had now moved in to a society flat in Greater Kailash. Sanjay had alone decided to get married to Prerna. He thought she was okay with the idea. He came often to pick her up for office. And drop her without fail. Sometimes, he stayed back. Prerna too liked him but had not decided on marriage.

When she declined his proposal, Sanjay couldn’t take it. He pulled her by her hair and shouted, “Why were you feeding on my gifts for two years? If you were not ready to marry me?”

Again, the same ‘me’ had come on her way. Why was every one so bothered about the ‘me’ that they had completely forgotten about the other ‘you’. She disappeared from Sanjay’s life just as Pratik had, without giving him any explanation.

For five years, she remained ardently anti men. But now, the lines between hatred for men and her love for women were blurring. All this had happened because she was finally in love.

When every man in her life, beginning from her Dad, had refused to understand her, she had begun to think about marriage. She had finally met a man who was sensitive and mature. When she expressed her desire to settle down with him, he refused.

Was it because of her family background or her credentials? Had Siddhartha come to know about her past? What deterred him to tie the nuptial knot with her?

When all humans relinquished her, only her pet, Tubelight, stood till the end. May be because only dogs don’t see the “little me in every you.” If you wish to read the full story, please vote http://www.indiblogger.in/getpublished/idea/515/

What Makes This Story ‘Real’ – 

The glamour world is unkind, more so if you are a woman. Millions of small town girls with dreamy eyes come to join the Television industry but are forced to go by the rules. Those who refuse to compromise are either left half-hearted or go through a lot of muck.

Extract - She met all sorts of people at various Production Houses in Delhi. Most of them wanted to offer her a job but with some preconditions. One of them promised her one time payment of Rupees 5,000 for presenting a celeb night at Shimla, provided she had to stay a day extra after the event. Prerna had just faced the harsh realities of the glam world.

End-note: "This is my entry for the HarperCollins–IndiBlogger Get Published contest, which is run with inputs from Yashodhara Lal and HarperCollins India."

Ego: The Detrimental Dog In Me

Ego and love do not go hand-in-hand. Yet, we never let go of it saying that it's vital for being successful in life. How true is that?

A quest for altruism took me through a self-analysis which only made me realise the deep-rooted ego inside. I saw a film named Jism some years back, which talked about the good dog and the bad dog inside a man. I quite liked the thought. Whichever dog we chose to feed more, became stronger than the other.

I had been trying to get rid of this dog in the last few years but amazingly an insight trip made me discover that the more I thought about it, the more that dog became older.  

A journey inside opened my eyes to the naked truth -- Ego cannot go by thought and neither is it beyond human action. Just that we are too blinded with it that we don't seem to identify it growing inside us. You must have heard of the man who went to the temple and got his name engraved on the stone for people to know about his donation. He wanted to please the dog inside him. So, he was a man with ego.

But did you know about the man who went to the temple, gave donations but told everyone that he will not get his name engraved on the temple wall because he doesn't want people to know. He was feeding the same dog.

There was a third man too. Who donated but neither got his name engraved nor told anyone. Not because he was too humble but because he too wanted to please his dog. You will ask how? He thought, sharing or making his donation public would bring him among common people which he was not. His very thought fed the dog.

When someone called me 'egoistic' for the first time in life, it was a setback for me. None of my childhood friends ever said that. Not because I was not, but because I carried it too much that nobody ever dared to. Soon after I was getting overwhelmed with the feeling that the dog inside was weak and dying, I heard this story. I discovered how much food I had been giving to the bad dog inside me making the very thought of killing it redundant. 

Some say ego is important to prove your worth in life but I feel what you do out of love is always greater and more effective than what you may achieve out of ego. People who feed this dog all their life are the biggest sufferers on earth. The best part is that they never realise this because of their EGO.

Me sharing this thought on my blog has fed the same dog to some extent but honestly, I liked writing about it. It is this "good feeling" that is feeding the "bad dog" inside. It has taken years to grow and will not die in a day. Hope you guys liked it and inferred the right notes. Few lines as I conclude...

A book is man’s best friend outside of a dog, and inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.—Jim Brewer