August 8, 2010

Deja Vu: The New Meera

Some things in life can actually be bigger than your "dream job". The way Jai in the film Love Aaj Kal was losing interest in his work, I am getting a deja vu these days.

I don't have even an iota of doubt that I am in a better place among better people. But I miss something very crucial. There were days when I had so many people to talk to, but there was no quality, no substance in my talks. Today when I am happy, the absence of someone who made me realise what "quality in life" is, leaves me pondering.

For long I thought, love is an "emotion" that makes one weak and so one should never fall in love. But I am happy, time has proved me wrong. What can make one weak are emotions attached to a person. Love in its real form can be a great source of inspiration. "Love is not an emotion. It's a way of life," he always told me.

You have "to love" and not "be in love" to believe this. Sounds crazy, but I can assure it's not that difficult. Emotions make you "stick" to something or someone. Love makes you "let go".  Today, I derive all my inspiration to do better in life from his thoughts. This is what keeps me going.

But as I grow as a person and as a professional, I miss his presence the most. Today, when I have things to share. I don't find him anywhere. He has gone away...but his thoughts and teachings have made me a more mature and stronger human being. He had always been a mentor, and also my biggest critic. The most valuable guidance came from him.

Though I miss him with a smile on my face, I am scared this may someday affect my enthusiasm to work. Jai came back to Meera in the climax. But I have become the new Meera, who loves loving her 'muse' without feeling intoxicated with emotions.

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