Why am I being raped every day?

I am ashamed yet again. The ugly debate on BBC airing the short film “India’s Daughter”, and the ban that followed, was not even over that a sick nationalist uploaded a cut-copy-paste video titled “United Kingdom’s  Daughter” as a reply to Leslee Udwin’s documentary on Nirbhaya’s rape .

Only if a film for a film, a rape for a rape, an eye for an eye, could justify the whole situation. Udwin, who herself claims to be a rape victim from Britain, must not have imagined the uproar it has created in the minds of millions of Indians. But some have definitely spoken in support. What renowned Lyricist Javed Akhtar said in Parliament on the issue echoed my thoughts. He said, “What was the need to speak to the convict? We don’t like what he says. He says gandi baat. But I have heard the same baatein in this hall (Parliament). Good that the documentary was made. At least some people must have realised that they think like the rapist.”

You know what it signifies? It means we need to ask ourselves before raising an alarm over foreign filmmakers tarnishing India’s image with portrayal of Indian men as pervert, whether or not what we heard in the film reflects the mentality of a significant number of men in India.

It is difficult to accept but the truth remains that men in large majority still don’t like women being independent financially, sexually or even emotionally. Being a working woman myself, I have seen the misogynist attitude of men in general towards their colleagues. From my first job till today, I have hardly seen any man who considers women capable of being intellectually stronger. Let alone the jokes of unmarried girls taking home fat salaries (as they don’t have financial responsibilities). One of the colleagues had even said, “You don’t need a salary, you stay with parents.” As if women have no right to earn money, no right to do what they like.

This whole episode of #NirbhayaInsulted has disturbed me thoroughly. I have been unable to understand how a film based on an incident that has already taken place, could tarnish India’s image. Though, the ban is understandable as the views of the convict are disconcerting, though not shocking. Even more appalling is the claim by Nirbhaya case’s sole eye witness and victim that the documentary is fake. He had done all sorts of dramatized versions of the deadly night of December 16 with Indian TV channels, yet when Udwin approached him he was not sure of the motive behind the film. (Can you recall his show with Aaj Tak a year after the incident telling the anchor all the same things like which movie they watched, what time they took the auto, etc.)

Udwin, who had appealed to the PM on one of the shows on NDTV to watch the film, has now fled the country on fear of being arrested.

“India’s Daughter” which was supposed to be an awareness campaign to understand rape from a social perspective has been misinterpreted so badly by several men (and women alike) that we have deviated from the actual issue.

I am not bothered about the ban, nor am I advocating the Freedom of Speech here. But I have been saying it for years that men don’t respect women enough. And rape is a serious thing not just in India but worldwide. India’s comparison to any other country be it Britain will not be correct as the social milieu is not the same. Here women are taught to be second class citizens right from the birth. What the Defence Lawyers handling the case have some said in the documentary is just a reflection of many men in power including our revered politicians. If justice is denied or delayed further, this would actually be an insult to every woman who has gone through this ordeal.